Als jonge poesjes zette wij de hele klas op stelten. Vroeg de juffrouw hoeveel één muis plus één muis was, dan antwoordde Sophie twaalf. Als juffie vroeg hoe ze daarbij kwam zei ik: mamma muis plus pappa muis plus tien baby muisjes, waarna de hele klas het uitgierde van het lachen. Werden wij de klas uitgezet en naar de hoofdjuffrouw gestuurd. Omdat het de derde keer die week was werden we naar huis gestuurd. We wilde niet dat onze mammie erachter kwam dus bleven we in het winkelcentrum rondhangen. Daar was altijd iets te beleven. Zo hebben we een keer een rookworst ontvoerd. Beetje jammer dat hij ons aanklaagde. Dat oranje vogeltje uit de dierenwinkel was ook geen succes. Kregen we een winkelverbod opgelegd. Vuile verraders waren het! Het ergste van alles was dat wij een visje voor onze mammie hadden gehaald, twee meeuwen ons op stonden te wachten, het visje op brute wijze van ons afnamen en ermee wegvlogen. Als jullie denken dat deze monsters hiervoor werden bestraft vergeet het maar! Weten jullie wie er een gebiedsverbod kregen? Juist, wij!
Een detail: Donna werd de klas uitgestuurd en ik volgde haar. Juffie vroeg waar ik naartoe ging. Ik zei: “met Donna mee.” Juffie zei dat ze mij de klas niet had uitgestuurd. Ik zei dat ik Donna niet alleen kon laten gaan waarop juffie zei: “Ga jij dan ook maar Sophie maar weet dat ik jou geen straf geef.”
As young kittens we turned the whole class upside down. When the teacher asked how much one mouse plus one mouse was, Sophie answered twelve. When she asked how she got on it, I said: mommy mouse plus daddy mouse plus ten baby mice, after which the whole class cried out laughing. We were sent out of the classroom straight to the head teacher. Because it was the third time that week we were sent home. We didn’t want our mommy to find out so we stayed in the mall. There was always something going on there. For example, we once abducted a smoked sausage. Too bad he was suing us. That orange bird from the pet store weren’t a success either. We were banned from the store. They were dirty traitors! The worst thing of all was that we had brought a little fish for our mommy, two seagulls were waiting for us, brutally took the little fish from us and flew away with it. If you think these monsters were punished for this, forget it! Do you know who got an area ban? Right, we!
A detail: Donna was sent out of class and I followed her. The teacher asked where I was going. I said, “joining Donna.” Missy said she didn’t sent me out of the classroom. I said I couldn’t let Donna go alone and she said, “Go, Sophie, but know I’m not punishing you.”
Remember Sophie being abducted by aliens? I never noticed they came to get her, but I did notice she was acting kinda strange after she returned. You might be thinking “If you didn’t notice she left how did you notice she returned?” Good point! At a certain moment she was acting strange, I mean more strange than usual. I asked her if she was feeling well. At first she made some meowing sounds like she was testing her voice. Then she started telling me about her “abduction”. Of course I didn’t believe it but didn’t say.
It has been more than two years ago since this abduction happened and Sophie has been struggling a lot with her allergies. She also lost weight. I started worrying about her and sent her to the vet. The vet wasn’t able to cure Sophie and sent her to the dermatologist. After six weeks it looks like she’s feeling better although her fur hasn’t grown back yet.
Last week I found a picture on Facebook which explains Sophie’s behaviour and the fact that she’s still skinny:
THEY REPLACED THE INSIDE OF MY SISTER WITH AN ALIEN!
I’m living with an alien wearing a fur coat! The coat of Sophie! I don’t like this … I don’t like this at all! Where is Sophie? I want Sophie back. My beautiful sister Sophie who was always so proud of her fur. Can anybody tell me how to convert the thing living with me back into my sister Sophie? Please?
Our humans like to travel. During their travels they take photos. We like to watch the photos because there are often cats and birds in them. One photo reminded me at something: when we were kittens our mommy used to tell us tales. Sometimes they were pretty scary. When we did bad things she used to tell us the story of Bluebeard. We’ve always thought it was about a blue bird because one of the women said: “Sister Anna, O, sister Anna, do you see anybody coming?” I played this scene with Donna and I used to say: “Sister Donna, O, sister Donna, do you see anybody coming?” Then Donna answered: “I see a Blue Bird up in a tree and a Black Bird almost hit by a truck.”
Yes, a truck
It was crossing the street
Didn’t it fly?
Because it’s a bird!
No, it was a truck and a truck can’t fly, stupid!
Then we started fighting and our mommy got upset, telling us she’ll send us to Bluebeard if we didn’t stop. Now, look what I found in our humans photo collection:
Yes, it’s a picture of Bluebeard. It was painted on a wall somewhere far away from here. There were also paintings of human faces, we assume of sister Anna and her sister.
After discovering this, Donna is afraid to sleep and I haven’t slept well either. We are good girls who do bad things sometimes. I don’t think our humans will send us to Bluebeard but what if Bluebird comes to meet us?
Sister Donna, O, sister Donna, do you see anybody coming?
I was surprised a mouse was asking for my advise today. It doesn’t happen very often you know. The little guy couldn’t decide what to eat so I suggested to eat him. He looked at me and suddenly ran off. Don’t know why …
Je weet dat het gaat gebeuren, alleen niet wanneer. De poezenmand staat al een dag in de gang. Sophie was twee weken geleden aan de beurt. Toen zij terug kwam herkende ik haar geur niet en blies tegen haar. Ze werd boos. Haar probleem. De poezenmand werd opgeborgen. Nu staat hij daar dus weer. Wie o wie?
Vrouwtje vertrok vanmorgen en kwam in de middag terug. Ze liep op mij af en tilde me op. Natuurlijk protesteerde ik. Ze sprak lieve woordjes terwijl ze me in de poezenmand stopte. Ik klaagde. Nog meer lieve woordjes.
We gaan op pad. Ik kijk belangstellend om mij heen. Zoveel nieuwe geluiden en geuren. De mand wisselt regelmatig van hand.
Ze opent een deur. Dan ruik ik het. Ik begin te trillen. Vrouwtje probeert me in contact te brengen met een ander wezen. Ik negeer het. Heb wel wat anders aan mijn hoofd! We worden binnen geroepen. Mijn veilige onderkomen wordt verwijderd. Ik word betast. ‘Ze ziet er goed uit,’ zegt een stem. Natuurlijk, wat had je dan verwacht? Geen vieze druppeltjes meer, probeer een nieuw pilletje. Bel over een week. Over drie jaar terugkomen.
Bevrijd hol ik de trap op. Zodra ik binnen ben vertel ik het Sophie. Zij heeft ook pilletjes. Vindt ze niet erg. Ik ook niet. Pilletjes zijn lekker, druppeltjes vies. Over drie jaar krijgen we weer prikjes. Hoeveel poezenjaren zijn dat?
What do you think when you see this post on Facebook:
Well, I thought my sister Donna just wanted to make people curious and let them guess. She did it before to me and told me afterwards she didn’t remember … it might have been a joke just to make you curious she said …
So I was surprised to see the next post that showed up some minutes after the first one:
Just couldn’t believe it …
‘See,’ she told me, ‘Missy has an old camera just the right size for me to hold, and taught me how to take pictures. I practised a little and I seem to be pretty good at it. Now I’m able to add pictures to my stories, I only need a little help to get them from the camera to the computer. It’s an old camera, like I told you and it doesn’t have a touch screen or wifi. If I like being a photog kitty I’m going to ask a camera with a touch screen and wifi for my birthday or maybe a smart phone. Yeah, a smart phone for a smart cookie, that would be great. Then I can add other apps to it as well.’
So you see, Donna keeps on surprising everyone … even me!
I found a picture of Donna hugging a doll. When I asked her why she was hugging that doll, she said that it wasn’t her. “It’s Miss Whiskers,” she said. I never heard of Miss Whiskers and asked how this photo appeared in our gallery. “Well, if you take a close look to it,” Donna said, “you’ll notice that the doll is in a suitcase with Miss Whiskers. So I assume Missy took a picture of them when she was on vacation.”
I don’t know why, but I had the feeling that Donna was telling a story. Then I remembered another picture and confronted Donna with it:“Oh, that’s Miss Whiskers too,” Donna said after seeing the picture.
– Did I ever met her, Don?
– How should I know?
– Have you ever met her?
– No …
– Well, how do you know it’s Miss Whiskers?
– Because I never had a furdo like that!
Donna published something on our Facebook page, about me abducted by aliens:
What she didn’t tell is that them aliens gave me that thing on the picture. They were such nice and generous creatures, looking and smelling like green apples with big heads and nice big eyes.
Here’s a picture of them:
Sweet looking fellows, right?
So as a memory to my visit (eh … abduction) they gave me a food machine that looks like a flying saucer. They also left a little note, saying: “A gift from us, so you will be reminded to your pleasant stay with us and know that it wasn’t just a sweet dream. Now you never have to be hungry again, sweet fluffy earth creature” 🙂
Miss Donna didn’t pay attention to the new object and I was a little scared of it in the first place. Then I found out it offered food after it bleeped and that made me feel happy. It didn’t take long before Donna “discovered” the advantages of the thing too. I didn’t give her permission to eat from it, but you know Donna; madam needs permission from no one, she always does what she wants. Since she claimed the food machine to be hers, I think I’m going to send my alien friends a WhatsApp message (hope they can receive that in their universe), asking them to abduct Donna and keep her so she won’t bother me anymore …
I heard humans talk about taking a dog or a cat. The one human said: “A dog gives you unconditional love.” Because I didn’t know what that meant, the unconditional thing, I asked Donna.
“Oh,” she said, “unconditional, let’s think … mmm yeah I think it has something to do with dogs and idiots. It means something like: you always love your human, regardless if the love is returned to you by food or toys or not. Of course this doesn’t apply to us, cats and kitties. Like I said, it’s a dog- and idiots thing.”
Donna is so smart, knows an answer to everything. Bossy and Missy love us unconditionally, I’m sure about that. But does it mean that they are idiots or dogs? Have to ask Donna … >^..^<