We found this on Facebook and liked it so much that we want to share it with you.
Time flies like a bird you can’t catch … it’s almost Missy Day and it’s so hard to pick an original present for Missy. Since Sophie loves to shop, I sent her out to find something nice and useful. Sophie has a parttime job at the returns department of a store in consumer electronics, so she promised to look if they have anything useful there.
This morning (she use to work the night shifts) she returned home with this:
Soph, what’s this?
It’s a big eye, Don. Don’t you like it?
Yes, but do you think Missy likes it?
Of course she will! She’ll love it 🙂
Well, I’m not sure. I think she likes her own camera better.
But that one is black, and this one has nice colors.
Where did you buy it?
Buy? No, someone returned it and the manager said nobody would buy it anyway and threw it away. After he left, I rescued it from the garbage bin and here it is!
You stole it?
No, I told you he threw it away. That was so cruel, I had to rescue the poor thing!
Oh, I see … well if Missy doesn’t like it I’ll tell her it was your idea, right?
No, that isn’t fair, Don. We’re a team, remember?
Okay, we are a team. As a team member I would like to know if this thing works.
Works? I don’t know … you mean, if it has a job?
No, Soph, I mean: does it do what it should, taking pictures?
I thought Missy takes the pictures?
Sigh … do you know if it’s broken or not?
Well, when it came in, it worked but after the manager brutely threw it away, I’m not sure …
Maybe we have to look for another gift, Sophie. What do you think?
Yes, you’re right Don! I’ll check if I can find an alarm clock. You know, a programmable one. Maybe you can program it in such way it rings on the time we want to have our food?
I said, Don … Don, I said, I wish I was that plant. It gets more attention than I. Even that spot of light gets more attention. Do you understand that human? Well, I don’t! I saw her staring at a picture of us one day. She didn’t even notice that I was standing behind her. You know what the thing is with that human, Don? Let me tell you: since she’s staring through that black box, she forgets about the real world around her. I was told that when the clock strikes twelve, that thing will grow on her eye. That’s why I want to warn her and also because I want a HUG and I’m HUNGY!!!
Mmm … I get your point, Soph. I also noticed that but I have some tricks to get her attention. When she’s sitting on the ground with that black box, I go sit on her lap. Once she was leaning against the stairs, taking some pics of a flower, so I climbed the stairs and poked her. Since Missy can’t resist me, I always get the attention I need. When I want a hug, I first give her a hug; when I’m hungry, I ask for food. It’s as simple as that!
Oh, Don … I think I understand what you’re saying. You’re such a smart cookie! Do you believe the black box will grow on Missy’s eye when the clock strikes twelve?
Of course not, Soph! Where did you hear that? It’s the silliest thing I ever heard! Missy was born with that black box on her eye!
“Don, look … what do you think?”
No, this time it wasn’t Sophie asking me, but Missy. What was the matter? Missy learned about some new marketing tool and now she wants to try it on her blog.
“Look, Don, when you want to download this photo you have to pay for it. Not with money, like we humans use to, but with a Tweet! It’s a free promotion of your product.”
“A Tweet. Look, I click on this link and then I’m routed to Twitter. I log in and post the Tweet. After that, I can download the photo. Now, what do you think?”
“Mmm, let’s see … it’s complicated, isn’t it? Let’s ask Sophie …”
“Sophie, do you want to get payed with a Tweet?”
“Oh yes, Missy always pays with treats.”
“Not a treat, but a Tweet!”
“Tweety, the bird? Oh, that would be so great! Please tell me what to do …”
Since that didn’t work – who had thought it would – I started thinking if I could use it for the promotion of my company. Oh, now I can see you thinking: ‘what kind of company can a kitty like her run? Is she in mouse hunting business?’ Wrong! I’m a S.I.C.K. The first time I told Sophie, she said: “Don, go see a doctor!!! I’ll tell Missy … MISSY … Donna is sick!!!”
“Is she nauseous?”
“She’s as sick as a cat, Missy.”
“No, Sophie, I told you I’m a S.I.C.K, a Social Independent Comfort Kitty.”
“A what? Social? Never noticed that. Independent, yes you are, but what’s a Comfort Kitty?”
“I am Social, but in general not to cats, I’m social to humans who need me to comfort them. People hire me for that, you know?”
“And how do you get payed, Don? With a Tweet or a Treat???”
People often wonder why we cats and kitties refuse to listen to humans. Well, I found the perfect answer on the internet:
When Donna and I were kittens, they took us away from our mommy. Since it’s almost World Animal Day, I’ve been thinking about my mommy a lot. Donna says she doesn’t remember, she says she considers Missy as her mommy. I don’t think Missy took us away from our real mommy, though. We lived with other humans before Bossy and Missy adopted us. When our first humans brought us to the shelter, Donna said she would never trust another human anymore. She was so upset, didn’t want to talk to me either. The only thing she did was growling and calling me names. But I couldn’t help that were there, could I?
We both got an operation, which made Donna even more angry. After we recovered, our new humans came to meet us and took us home. Donna disappeared the moment she was released from the kitty bag and I was pretty scared too. After a while, I approached Missy and she started petting me. Can’t tell you how happy I felt …
Donna stayed away for three days, she was hiding in the kitchen under a drawer that she entered through a secret “door”. She only came out at night to eat a little. It took some time before she allowed Missy to pet her. We remained a little scared of Bossy, because he’s so big. I guess you know the rest is history: Donna thinks Missy is her real mommy, loves Bossy and chases me all the time. I know Missy isn’t our real mommy, but I think she’s nice and does the best she can to make us girls feel at home.
We’ve created a comic strip of some of our photos. I don’t know if it was comical at all, but this is how humans call it.
What was the issue? I spotted a terrible creature and didn’t want to scare the humans. So I had to make up a plan. I informed Donna about the situation and after discussing the plan, we took action. I’m glad we succeeded and the humans didn’t find out …
The purple text is written (or said) by Sophie, the black text by Donna.
Missy was baking a cake … Yeah a cake and a pizza … and we were not allowed to enter the kitchen … Yeah we were locked out of the kitchen … Don! Yeah? Don’t you interrupt me all the time! I don’t interrupt you, you’re not telling the whole story …
Well, when the cake was ready, the pizza went into the oven. When the pizza was ready it went into Missy’s mouth. How do you know? You weren’t there! We were locked up remember? Let me finish my story, will you? Anyway, I suppose it went into Missy’s mouth because when we were released, there was no pizza and no cake, only the smell of it. Did Missy eat the cake too? In the first place I thought so, but later – after we’ve got our ten o’clock food – Missy entered the room, carrying a small plate with some cake on it. I asked her to share a piece with me and what do you think? She locked us out of the livingroom. Oh, was that why we were abandoned … how selfish! Not only selfish, Don, also cruel! The only thing that human can think of is food, food and food. I’m glad we girls are not like her, we have other things on our minds than a simple cake delivery!
Missy found something new: it’s a website teaching humans how to communicate with us cats. Well, I think I understand Missy quite well and she understands me. Sophie is another story. She refuses to listen to Missy except when she wants something from her: food or a hug.
It’s kind of strange, I think, that humans who are supposed to be so intelligent, need websites like that. Well, Missy decided to test the suggestions given on the website on Sophie. When Sophie noticed Missy approaching her, she started to yawn and turned her head away. Missy didn’t give up, went down on the floor and started to talk to Sophie while caressing her. Sophie didn’t give a meow … she kept on looking away from Missy. After a couple of minutes Missy understood that she wasn’t welcome and left Sophie alone.
After dinner, Sophie started complaining about Missy’s behaviour. ‘That silly human, what did she want from me? I was resting and she found it necessary to disturb me. I told her, but she didn’t understand. The only good thing about it was that she didn’t start singing to me. Have you ever heard that? Sounds terrible, hurts my poor ears.’
Some time later, Sophie forgot what she had told me, I think. She jumped on the table and allowed Missy to brush her fur. And Missy … Missy sang to her …
The humans were on vacation. Yeah, and we were at home. Because we wanted to invite some friends, we needed to check if there was enough to eat. Yeah, enough to eat … The neighbors took care of us and forgot to close the door of the top closet. Yeah, the top closet, where our food is stored. So I said … what did I say … eh … I said ‘Don, you’re such a good jumper, could you please go up there and check if there’s anything to eat?’ Donna jumped into the closet and started throwing food out of it, almost hittin’ my head with some dried meat and caramel … I started tasting. ‘Mmm, Don, these caramels taste great!’
The purple text is written (or said) by Sophie, the black text by Donna.
‘These caramels are too dur, Sophie, we can’t offer that to our friends,’ Donna concluded after chewing a piece of caramel and spitting out it on the ground, ‘let’s try the dried meat. Why do humans cover that … grrr … I have to take off the wrapping, Soph … just a minute …’ While Donna was fighting with the wrapping, I heard somebody opening the door.
‘Don … Donna … I hear somebody … come out of that closet …’
‘I’m afraid not … I think it’s the human next door.’
‘I don’t have time to clean up …’
‘Leave it there and move your tail to the attic as quick as you can …’
I welcomed the neighbor as friendly as always. Because Donna didn’t show up, she got suspicious … and what do you think? Madam Donna was still sitting in the kitchen, on the floor, crying that she didn’t do it … it fell out of that closet itself … a local earthquake caused it … oh no, it was Sophie because she jumped so hard from the table on the floor … well …
Thank you SIS … grrrr …
I said ‘… MOVE your tail …’ and not ‘… SAVE your tail …’
What has my tail to do with it? That party was your idea. You better WATCH your own tail!
Sophie: Don, what’s wrong with that human?
Donna: Who do you mean, Soph?
Sophie: The she … Missy!
Donna: What do you think?
Sophie: How should I know?
Donna: You stole her food!
Sophie: Well, is that something to act hysterical about?
Donna: It’s not a nice thing to do, Soph, stealing somebody’s food while he or she is eating.
Sophie: You also do, Don! And do I start crying and screaming? No, I don’t! I’m a big girl, I know how to behave!
Donna: You do how to eh … behave?
Donna: Well, if you did, you wouldn’t bother Missy all the time while she’s eating.
Sophie: It’s my food, she’s eating my food, Sis!
Donna: If it was, it would be in your trough.
Sophie: A lady sometimes wants to eat from a plate in stead of a trough.
Donna: A lady? I’m a lady! My name is Donna, remember?
Donna: You only know four words “I, me, my, and mine.”
Sophie: You’re wrong again, Sis … I know FIVE words: “I, me, my, mine and MEOW.”