Donna says she’s a SICK. I first thought she was feeling sick, that’s why I called Missy to take her to the vet. Last week, Bossy showed me an article in the local news paper:
This article tells a story about a German cat who visits a home for elderly humans. It makes the old humans feel happy and they’re looking forward to the weekly visit of the furry guy.
While browsing the internet, I even found more articles about cats and kitties visiting elderly homes. So it’s seems to be a booming kitty business and Donna, smart as she is, jumped into it. She even created her own business card:
The business card says Donna is a Social Independent Comfort Kitty, so I asked her why she named it “Comfort” instead of “Care”.
[D] “Well, see … sometimes humans feel lonely and sad and then I comfort them.”
[S] “But don’t you take care of them?”
[D] “No, I care for them.”
[S] “Just tell me: you always hide when Bossy and Missy have visitors, you don’t like to travel in a kitty bag and you certainly don’t like to wear a collar. How do you deal with that while visiting the elderly homes?
[D] “Visiting? No, I’m not going there, I contact my seniors on the internet.”
Typically Donna, always being creative. I never heard about a kitty caring on line for a human. Well it might be a nice alternative for people who are allergic to us cats and kitties …
People often wonder why we cats and kitties refuse to listen to humans. Well, I found the perfect answer on the internet:
When Donna and I were kittens, they took us away from our mommy. Since it’s almost World Animal Day, I’ve been thinking about my mommy a lot. Donna says she doesn’t remember, she says she considers Missy as her mommy. I don’t think Missy took us away from our real mommy, though. We lived with other humans before Bossy and Missy adopted us. When our first humans brought us to the shelter, Donna said she would never trust another human anymore. She was so upset, didn’t want to talk to me either. The only thing she did was growling and calling me names. But I couldn’t help that were there, could I?
We both got an operation, which made Donna even more angry. After we recovered, our new humans came to meet us and took us home. Donna disappeared the moment she was released from the kitty bag and I was pretty scared too. After a while, I approached Missy and she started petting me. Can’t tell you how happy I felt …
Donna stayed away for three days, she was hiding in the kitchen under a drawer that she entered through a secret “door”. She only came out at night to eat a little. It took some time before she allowed Missy to pet her. We remained a little scared of Bossy, because he’s so big. I guess you know the rest is history: Donna thinks Missy is her real mommy, loves Bossy and chases me all the time. I know Missy isn’t our real mommy, but I think she’s nice and does the best she can to make us girls feel at home.
Sophie: I’m a model, a model, a top model
Donna: A model is a simplification of reality
Our human, Missy, attended a training. At that training, it was about some software, they tought her what a model is. It seems that a model is a simplification of reality. Since Sophie says she’s a model, I looked up the definition of a model on the internet. It says:
DEFINITION OF A MODEL
A model is a representation containing the essential structure of some object or event in the real world.
Sophie has the essential structure of some object (in her case a cat) in the real world, so this makes sense, I think. Please read the following characteristics carefully:
CHARACTERISTICS OF MODELS
1. Models are necessarily incomplete.
2. The model may be changed or manipulated with relative ease.
Well, Sophie has a head, a tail and four legs. So I should say she’s physically complete. When you read the second characteristic, it becomes more clear. Sophie can be manipulated with relative ease. When she smells food she totally freaks out. Taking that in consideration, I can say Sophie is a model, a top model.
Donna: I’m a cookie, a cookie, a smart cookie
Sophie: Then I’m gonna eat ya … mjoaw, mjoaw …
The following article I quote from a newspaper:
Some people rather sleep with their cat than with their partner, in spite of the fact that the little creature has a smelly breath and it takes the biggest part of the bed in possession.
This is concluded by a British lady who has spoken to a hundred cat owners. I am going to analyze this conclusion and give you my informed option from the cat’s perspective:
1. Some people rather sleep with their cat than with their partner: this is totally clear to me; I wonder why this is mentioned.
2. in spite of the fact that the little creature has a smelly breath: why, smelly breath? Did you ever smell your own breath?
3. and it takes the biggest part of the bed in possession: What? You take the biggest part of the bed and toss about all night so that I wake up all the time. Do you find it odd that I have to sleep by day to make it up?
This conclusion doesn’t make any sense, as you notice. But what do you want? The research is done by a human and the cat’s contribution has not been asked for. The right conclusion of the research should have been:
Because some people rather sleep with their cat than with their partner, we cats are forced to give up a big part of our bed to them and take the smelly breath of the human into the bargain.
Now that I have translated the article to English I’m going to send it to that lady because I, naturally, expect a response with the necessary excuses.